Nursery Aficionado T-Shirts

'I figured out why we have six times as many babies in here as usual. Nine months ago was when the cable TV was out for five straight days.'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Are you made of sugar?'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"I'm bored."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Batman's Baby

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!