Children's Story Collector T-Shirts

"But she'll come down eventually, and she'll come down hard."

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"

Evil Queen

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Yes Bo Peep, they're here...'

Humpty's Mom

'Look Pinocchio! I told you it's not all bad!'

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"There must be some mistake. I only ordered one peck of pickled peppers."

"Truth? Ok. . . did you eat the porridge?"

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

Author book signing 'Wimpy Kid Diary'!

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

Newborn making the V-sign

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'Well if you wanted a garden shed made out of wood or brick, then you should have married one of my brothers!'

Who's Dead

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

Beware of chesire dog.

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'