Nursery Rhymes Gifts

"Actually, I already knew where that little piggy went."

'I don't do 'slip and fall,' but if you're ever in need of a good tax attorney...'

'My god, he's insane.'

"My self-esteem was so low I just followed her around everywhere she would go."

Three Little Pigs,Easter Bunny, Father Christmas, Humpty Dumpty, a Leprechaun, The Tooth Fairy and a Mummy settle down to watch Reality TV.

'I've become a victim of my own success. I'm starting to crack myself up.'

His infatuation turned to obsession, he would watch her at work... He would follow her home... Yes, everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.

Three blind mice see personal injury lawyer: 'You've got a water-tight case here.'

'So, this Humpty Dumpty guy falls off the wall and I think, dang, what a waste!'

Humpty Dumpty Earth.

'Mary had a little smartphone. It's case was white as snow. Everywhere that Mary went, her phone was sure to go.'

Humpty Dumpty replaced by egg substitute.

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

"I chose style over comfort."

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

Jack B. Nimble simulates jumping over a candlestick.

'Who let Bessie substitute for Rudolf? I wasted half the night jumping over the moon!'

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

'Forty beers please, oh, and if a woman called Beau Peep calls, tell her you never saw us.'

"That's what I mean by going the extra mile."

Shoe house.

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

Egg eating snake thinks big, real big!

'... And of course, there are the conspiracy theorists who say that it was all a big hoax and I didn't jump over it at all.'

Humpty Dumpty on Wall Street.

Through the Looking Glass - Alice and Humpty Dumpty.

'Old MacDonald bought the farm E-I-E-I-O. . .'

Alls I know is that a cow is missin'! We don't care which one of you hamheads went to market or who stayed at home - We just wanna know what you did with the roast beef!

"You're kidding!...You mean, all the King's horses and all the King's men tried putting you back together again too?"

Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the Cupboard...'Now what did I come here for?'

'Frankendumpty'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Humpty Dumpty after the Fall

'Thank goodness for duct tape.'

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."