Nursery Rhyme Eccentrics Gifts

'My god, he's insane.'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

If you're happy and you know it...

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'