Nurse Friends Gifts

NHS Efficiency Drive

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Long shift?'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

Infectious Diseases Unit: Catch of the Day

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'Underpaid, overworked, stressed and sick of criticism...still enough of my problems do you still need the toilet?'

'When you perform the surgery, please don't remove any of my untapped potential.'

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

"Frank, is that you?"

When Seniors Fly

'We've noticed just about every patient you've tested has elevated blood pressure.'

"And that's the day we said goodbye to the No Child Left Behind legislation and were free to teach again."

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

De Luxe Model - Cupholders.

"Whose turn is it to be the patient?"

Florence Nightingale

Old folk dancing

Bureau of Hospital Nursing - Be Back At IV.

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up every hour during the night."