Nuptial Ninjas Pillows

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

Domestic Superheroes!!

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Tool Box

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

Sulk Shows

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"The air bag sensed he was going to sleep. I love technology."

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"Boy, I thought I'd never get the babysitter to sleep!"

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"So how is being a new mum treating you?"

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

Hipsters knit their beards.

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

The light is green.

"Hey sweetheart, seat taken?"

Now that the last child had finally left for college, Dot and Neville went through the usual 'empty nest' grieving process.

'Here's the problem. Our GPS system is in kilometers, not miles.'

"And I thought changing the twins was going to be difficult!"

''Forsaking all others'? - does that mean I have to turn my webcam off?'

Mary felt safer going to her car late at night now that she carried a spray can of lace.