Nuptial Ninjas T-Shirts

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

Domestic Superheroes!!

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Tool Box

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Sulk Shows

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

"The air bag sensed he was going to sleep. I love technology."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"Boy, I thought I'd never get the babysitter to sleep!"

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"So how is being a new mum treating you?"

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

I wonder what the kids are up to at the lake. Your mom will keep her eyes on them. She won't let them get into trouble. Nothing gets by her! ZZZZ. Psst. My silence isn't free!

Hipsters knit their beards.

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

The light is green.

"Hey sweetheart, seat taken?"

"Nana" Technology

Now that the last child had finally left for college, Dot and Neville went through the usual 'empty nest' grieving process.

'Here's the problem. Our GPS system is in kilometers, not miles.'

''Forsaking all others'? - does that mean I have to turn my webcam off?'

"Madam, you're not properly dressed. . . But the rules say helmets must be worn at all times."