Nighttime Ninjas Pillows

'Just another rave in the nursery.'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

The modern generation!

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

"Boy, I thought I'd never get the babysitter to sleep!"

'Enough is enough, John! You've got to choose. It's either your job or me.'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Hipsters knit their beards.

After a lifetime of chasing that elusive creature, Alvin stopped to reassess his time management skills.

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

Living by the Clock

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

Ninja

Now that the last child had finally left for college, Dot and Neville went through the usual 'empty nest' grieving process.

'Here's the problem. Our GPS system is in kilometers, not miles.'

'All right, I wanna know which ones of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

Mary felt safer going to her car late at night now that she carried a spray can of lace.

Ninja vs. the invisible man. . . or is the cartoonist just bein' lazy?

Regulars' Earphones

We're off now, thanks for sitting,,,

"When you can sneak up on me, without my knowledge, then, and only then, can you consider yourself a true Ninja!"

'Hi, I'm a hedge fund manager.'

"I see the empty nest as a place where an apartment can finally grow up."

A man leaving at the exit notices the 'ninja exit'.