Numerical Fascination Gifts

"I am retired now, but I was an accountant for 35 years 8 months 16 days 14 hours 26 minutes and 34 seconds."

The Life of Pi

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Staff Yearbook

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

Warning: Math Ahead!

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Reign Man

How Romans give each other a high five...

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

Life on Earth - maths advice.

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

'How can two plus three equal five? Yesterday you said one plus four equal five.'

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

57th Birthday balloons

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."

'You're not just a number to me, Abercrombie -- you're an irrational number!'

Three steps to turn around the economy.

'The good news is we've readjusted our expectations.'

'I used to be dull and boring then, one day, I discovered accountancy.'

"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"

"Tonight we're going to let the statistics speak for themselves."

'How would you describe yourself?'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'