Numerical Fascination Pillows

"I am retired now, but I was an accountant for 35 years 8 months 16 days 14 hours 26 minutes and 34 seconds."

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Staff Yearbook

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

Warning: Math Ahead!

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

Life on Earth - maths advice.

Reign Man

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'How can two plus three equal five? Yesterday you said one plus four equal five.'

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

57th Birthday balloons

'You're not just a number to me, Abercrombie -- you're an irrational number!'

Three steps to turn around the economy.

'The good news is we've readjusted our expectations.'

"Tonight we're going to let the statistics speak for themselves."

"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"