Numerology Buffs Pillows

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Staff Yearbook

But under a different accounting convention ...

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

Warning: Math Ahead!

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Pi fight!

Reign Man

"Subtracting net cash brings the P/E down to 47, and, finally, crossing out the 4 brings it down to a very reasonable P/E of 7."

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"Of course there's emotion in business. Has your heart never skipped a beat at the sight of a long string of zeros after a seven."

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."