Number Plate Enthusiast Pillows

'It would be much cheaper to change my name to match the initials of my present registration!'

The Life of Pi

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Staff Yearbook

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

But under a different accounting convention ...

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

Warning: Math Ahead!

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Reign Man

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

57th Birthday balloons

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."

'You're not just a number to me, Abercrombie -- you're an irrational number!'

'The good news is we've readjusted our expectations.'

Farmed Salmon Restaurant - Everyone squashed together.

"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"

'I used to be dull and boring then, one day, I discovered accountancy.'

'Miss Soule, I'm curious. How many numbers were there when you were my age?'

'How would you describe yourself?'

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

"And remember, we're a multi-denominational church - we accept fiver, tenner, euros, dollars. . ."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

Before it even began this would become one of the longest trials on record.

'We're pretty sure we've got all the right figures, we're just not sure what order to put them in!'

'It's called 'Creative Accounting'.'

"According to my calculations, you should float now...I think..."