Number Plate Collector Pillows

'Looks like Michelle's off her diet.'

'your personalised number-plate says it all...'

King has a 'MY MAJESTY' registration plates,

'I tried to get the numberplate PEN 15 but it had gone.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Try his land line.'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'Thanks to a little genetec engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

Bell invents the telephone.

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

'Damn, so close!'

'How come it's always me who has his name taken?'

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

"It's a baaa-code."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"I come in peace, for more information scan me with your phone."

"I just pick a new one each season. How else would you get a new Apple?"

"So how long have you had this ringing in your ears?"

"No, you didn't wake me. I always sound like this."

'Because it's the only thing that still whistles at me. That's why I keep it.'

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

"$100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public."

'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'

Wordilly Durdillies - Ringworm

'I've recently discovered that there's never been a hurricane named after me. See to it that the next one is.'

Strategic metals vs. non-strategic metals.

'For deliveries press the hatch key.'

Tea and Coffee

Life before mobile phones

'Just to clarify IOU's do not qualify as a tithe!'