Nudie Nancy Gifts

'Cover your eyes.'

"Privates Beach"

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"I've got pride but no shame."

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

Success often means distracting the competition.

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

"Harold, is that you?"

"If you get nervous up here, just picture everyone in the audience wearing clothes!"

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...By getting a law passed that banned all clothing. Since nobody could hide anything, it was really easy to spot the bad guys...'

"How on earth do you keep your cool with all this naked flesh around?"

A gorilla returns in his space ship and discovers (to his disappointment) that the gorillas they left behind haven't really evolved - infact they have become nudists!

"Why yes. My husband does work in the construction industry! How on earth did you guess?"

"Oh, that old thing? She's been wearing that for years, haven't you dear?"

"I told him nudism in space is a bad idea!"

"Madam, you're not properly dressed. . . But the rules say helmets must be worn at all times."

Homeopathic trousers.

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

"It won't be much of a holiday for me, did you forget I'm a stripper?"

'You don't expect me to play volleyball without a sports bra, do you?'

'Fancy a game of strip poker?'

Nudist Beach for people who shouldn't even think of being nude in public.

"I can't say I'm all that surprised."

Parson ad Nautical Young Lady.

'Geez Neville, 2 million years of evolution and look what you've achieved... you're a nudist!'

Hopes: We're gonna need a bigger emotional toolbox!

'Good God, Gerald. No one wears a tie to a party.'