Nudie Nancy Gifts

'Cover your eyes.'

"Privates Beach"

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"I've got pride but no shame."

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

Success often means distracting the competition.

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'

"Harold, is that you?"

"If you get nervous up here, just picture everyone in the audience wearing clothes!"

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'

Homeopathic trousers.

A gorilla returns in his space ship and discovers (to his disappointment) that the gorillas they left behind haven't really evolved - infact they have become nudists!

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...By getting a law passed that banned all clothing. Since nobody could hide anything, it was really easy to spot the bad guys...'

"How on earth do you keep your cool with all this naked flesh around?"

"Why yes. My husband does work in the construction industry! How on earth did you guess?"

"I told him nudism in space is a bad idea!"

"Madam, you're not properly dressed. . . But the rules say helmets must be worn at all times."

"Oh, that old thing? She's been wearing that for years, haven't you dear?"

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

'You don't expect me to play volleyball without a sports bra, do you?'

"It won't be much of a holiday for me, did you forget I'm a stripper?"

Hopes: We're gonna need a bigger emotional toolbox!

'Geez Neville, 2 million years of evolution and look what you've achieved... you're a nudist!'

Parson ad Nautical Young Lady.

Well, I didn't know it was a nude beach.

'It's a nonesie.'

'Fancy a game of strip poker?'

Nudist Beach for people who shouldn't even think of being nude in public.

"I can't say I'm all that surprised."

'I got tired of having a farmer's tan.'