Nervous Nancy Gifts

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Worry tank

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

No Immediate Danger

Nervous Oral Testing

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

Nervous Student

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Ted doesn't test well."

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"I don't interview well."

"It's a simple procedure. You'll be fine – as long as no one gets sloppy."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

The Return of Guarded Optimism

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

"Is this your first job interview, sir?"

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

Interview anxiety

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"