Nervous Nelly Gifts

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

Nervous Student

"Are you the patron saint of anxiety?"

"Sorry! I just don't hold up very well under intense pre-employment scrutiny!"

"He will only bite if he thinks you are afraid!"

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Ted doesn't test well."

"It's a simple procedure. You'll be fine – as long as no one gets sloppy."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"Being unable to clearly articulate responses to questions, is a common interview mistake. . ."

"So, how long you been running fireworks?"

No Immediate Danger

'The Paranoids'

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

Nervous rider hands his horse over to the police

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Worry tank

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"I don't interview well."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

The Return of Guarded Optimism

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

'There's that funny squealing again - I think it's coming from your side.'

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

Interview anxiety

"Is this your first job interview, sir?"

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."