Nostalgic Nelly Gifts

'The way I understand it, Grandpa spent the wild, psychedelic Sixties mostly watching Ed Sullivan.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Old rocker.

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Colonial Larrysburg.

I love you.

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

"We haven't danced in ages."

"We used to entertain a great deal."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'Wow, they don't make trees like they used to.'

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

The Piano Dreams Of Home

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Lost Diary'

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Green Balloon

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

An Appreciation

Aging together

"Who had pink eyes, long ears, a cute little cotton tail and brings baskets of eggs on Easter morning?"

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

Remembering His Marbles

The Beatles - Flabby Road

"I don't know...but it seems like nothing ever changes around here. It's like we've been 15 years old forever!"