Nostalgic Nanna Gifts

"Grandma's pretty old. Will she be able to read something not written in cursive?"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Old rocker.

Colonial Larrysburg.

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Print Suicide

An Appreciation

If Whistler and his mother were alive today.

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

Note to self: Call lawyer, ask if he has any experience with charges of treason. What's lawyer got to do … got to do with it … What? What are you doing? Tina Turner. My second favorite singer, after Clay Aiken. She's amazing. I investigated every single one of her concerts. Good times. Wanna see my Tina Turner tattoo? I'm not a Russian spy!! What is this, 1985?! Good year. Tina was in "Mad Max" that year.

Eddie longed for the days when kids played at recess instead of waiting for YouTube moments.

ABBA

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

Travel Scenes

Still living with parents....

"Aww! look how small your nose was when we first got married."

My mom says this story is a "real page turner." I have no idea what she means by that.

"Drat!"

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood. Greetings.

Bib's E-Book Readers.

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

'Wireless? Huh, we had wireless when I was a lad.'

'We have to get them out more.'

"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixon..."

Sitting Out the Lambada

"I like him. He reminds me of me when I was a frog."

"When I bought him, I went for craftsmanship. Now I wish I had gone for snuggliness."

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

'Of course you did better when you went to school. That was before the information age.'

"It's just the lockdown syndrome. You miss taking the subway to work."

"Do I use Google Maps driving or walking directions?"