Nsa Staff Pillows

The Anti-Agent

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

Outer Space Outsourcing

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Busy office.

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Sales.

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

Parking meter on the moon.

"Siri, find oxygen."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'Brains...brains...brains...'