Nsa Staff Pillows

The Ekert Saga: '...We have reports from the northeast that contentment might be breaking out...'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

The Anti-Agent

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

Outer Space Outsourcing

Multi-tasking.

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'These are job perks.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

Sales.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'