Novelty Tee Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm with stupi. . . um, I mean my beautiful wife.'

"Just a heads-up...you're wearing your 'I'm With Stupid' T-shirt inside out."

Spoiler Warning!

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'Now what?!'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'Please enter your pin now.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Finally...it's here! Only the best $20 I've ever spent!"

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'You're away, Doc!'

Ted picks the wrong day to wear his novelty tie.

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

BABY (arrow pointing to belly) BEER (arrow pointing to belly).

'Yes dear, matching novelty t-shirts.'

"My wife's an editor."

My Gay Son Never Calls

'Turkey dot com.'

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

'Fridge magnet' t-shirt.

"Fifty bucks and I'll tow it to the nearest novelty shop."

Surprise

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.