Novelty Clothing Enthusiasts Pillows

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"That shirt is so last year."

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

The Mummy's Purse...

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'Now what?!'

Swan in a trenchcoat.

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

'Please enter your pin now.'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Goodbye, Kevin. I could look the other way with the boozing and the skirt-chasing, but I did not sign up for bicycle clothes."

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

"Leftovers"

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

'Turkey dot com.'

"Does this hat say 'cosmic terror beyond mortal sanity?'"

"My wife's an editor."

'Yes dear, matching novelty t-shirts.'