Novelty Attire Aficionado Pillows

"You must be the new guy!"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

"1-1"

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'Now what?!'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

'Please enter your pin now.'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'I can't understand it, every time I wear a tuxedo, I wake up the next day with a blinding headache.'

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"Leftovers"

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

'Turkey dot com.'

"My wife's an editor."

'Yes dear, matching novelty t-shirts.'

Dressing Rooms.

One size fits all

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

Drinking Bird and Fishbowl

'Welcome stockholders of 'Worldwide Novelty Products'.'

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.

"Fifty bucks and I'll tow it to the nearest novelty shop."

Surprise

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'