Novelty Attire Aficionado T-Shirts

"You must be the new guy!"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

"1-1"

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'Now what?!'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

'Please enter your pin now.'

"Darling, I love how you've curated yourself."

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

'I can't understand it, every time I wear a tuxedo, I wake up the next day with a blinding headache.'

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"Leftovers"

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

Dressing Rooms.

'Turkey dot com.'

"My wife's an editor."

'Yes dear, matching novelty t-shirts.'

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

One size fits all

Surprise

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.

'It's new, Dental armor, Everything I need for any procedure is right here,'

'Welcome stockholders of 'Worldwide Novelty Products'.'

Drinking Bird and Fishbowl

"Fifty bucks and I'll tow it to the nearest novelty shop."

Pregnant woman wearing a 'baby' shirt and a man wearing a 'big baby' shirt.

'Brilliant!'