Novelty Humor Collector Gifts

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

'Not the Adam Ant!'

Occu-Pie Mars

Hollywood Sign Developers

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Clown on bike.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Banana Split...

Turtle Hat

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Hay Rides $10

"The Eggsorcist"

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

E-Baying @ The Moon

Snowmobull

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"Eat me"

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop