Novelty Engineer Gifts

"Cool ship, but how's it even going to fit in the lane?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Dog Walking Services

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Raincloud Umbrella

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Hay Rides $10

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Mohammad's motors

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Toenail clipping missile.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.