Novel Buff Gifts

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid café owner who discovers a map to the lost coffee bean of the ancients. The bean is hidden in crumbling catacombs beneath a booby-trapped Mayan temple. Braving an almost certain grisly death ... The cafe owner sends his obsequious minion to liberate the bean. Wait ... what? But the story really gets going when the evil minion tries filing for workman's comp just because he loses a few toes. Can the brave own

WH Wiff's Bookseller - Now Out! Runaway Bestseller.

You writers must have an easy life, I've often thought I'd have a bash myself if I had a bit of spare time.

Richard Adams.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"They grow up so fast."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

German Expressionist Breakfast

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

John Bunyan

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

Audio Books

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Our Two Parties, Explained

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Getting to Know You

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

Moby Dick

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.