Notary Pillows

Put it in writing!

'I'd like you to endorse my lifestyle.'

'What really stung is when they wanted the Magna Carta notarized!'

"To have that notarized you'll need two credible witnesses."

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"I'll admit, Billy Jenkins' note does look forged...but then again, he did have it notarized!"

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

"Before I say yes, my dad, who is a notary, wants to ask you about your plans for our future."

Notary

"I'd like to see how he plans to enforce a contract written on a baseball bat. It's not even notarized."

Notary

"This? Oh, I sprained my wrist signing all my mortgage papers with the notary last night!"

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

"According to Legal, these proceedings now have to be notarized."

Mr. Brass unexpectedly appears

I don't shake, Bob. I get thing in writing.

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Projecting Obama

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

"Hi...Marvin Ramage - composer/ arranger/ musician author and rich."