Nostalgic Newsreader T-Shirts

'I simply asked how often you change your reading material!'

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

Two Generations of Readers

The Paper Route

Christmas TV...

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

"The computer's messed up? How time flies! Seems only yesterday you couldn't program the VCR!"

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Print Suicide

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'Stocks rose, then dropped on news that life is full of highs and lows.'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

Beachcomber sees that smartphone displays 'message in a bottle.'

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

'You said you wanted to start reading the newspaper online.'

Cinderella mopping up

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"Scientists believe the mysterious asteroid, known as 'Oumaumau', may be a space probe, a discarded solar sail or a huge alien turd."

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

Bib's E-Book Readers.

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

My mom says this story is a "real page turner." I have no idea what she means by that.

'Don't tell me - you've come as a newsreader?'

"Pour yourself a drink - the news isn't too good"

All things previously thought to be good for us are in fact harmful to our health.

'This really is the road less traveled. I can't find it on my Google Map.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'