Nostalgic News Reader T-Shirts

"In my day we didn't 'scroll down' — we turned to Page 16, Section D!"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Two Generations of Readers

The Paper Route

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Print Suicide

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

'You said you wanted to start reading the newspaper online.'

Cinderella mopping up

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

My mom says this story is a "real page turner." I have no idea what she means by that.

Bib's E-Book Readers.

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

Now Showing - Titanic: Queue Here: Women + Children First.

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

'I used to be somebody. . . I used to be a contender. . .'

"Vinyl I get. This, I didn't see coming."

'CD's: Manufactured pop groups as seen on tv!'

'I miss fighting who gets the front page of the paper first.'

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

"I kind of miss that morning newspaper you used to hold in front of your face."

"Triple espresso." "Forget it, Uncle Mort." "Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you." "Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to?" "When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss." "That big galute and I were always pr

They met at a Book Club.

"It's a cellphone and video game alternative called reading."

'I don't need to check, sir, I'm positive we don't have any pop-up books for kids.'

"Going cold turkey might be too much for him . . . Let him watch reruns of the 1977 centenary test in Melbourne until the lockdown is over!"

"You just put it in the slot - you don't to push the 'send' key!"

'All right, pal, that's enough! Are you gonna pay for the paper or not?'

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."