Nostalgic For Traditional Holidays Gifts

"It's disgusting how they'll commercialize anything!"

Elfie Stick

Christmas sweater alternatives

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

"Room for bigger presents."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

I heard a rumor that he's going to deliver presents using drones this year! I hope not! Drone technology is far less reliable than Rudolph and the other reindeer! And besides, Christmas eve won't be the same if the sound of sleigh bells is replaced by the buzzing of a drone! My big brother said if I don't make his bed for him every day, he'll hack into Santa's database and put me on the "naughty" list. I've never trusted his computer system. And e-mail. I ask for presents with a hard-copy

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

"It's just not the same."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

'Sometimes Rudolph, I can't help but feel Christmas is getting too complicated!'

'Here's where things got ugly.'

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

"Your daddy had all the trimmings, son, our nation's highest honor."

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

Darning the Stockings

"On the basis you have nothing to give thanks for this past year, what say you spare us the chop?"

"I want my job back."

Angry Santa Letter

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

The Second Thanksgiving.

'Aye lad, I remember when this was all snow.'

"It's from the environmental lobby. . . they want you to stop putting coal in the naughty kids stockings."

"You've been at the North Pole for a long time. How come you haven't moved to Florida?"

Talking christmas tree

It's the ghost of Thanksgiving past

"Oh, Santa! Not you too?"

"I really miss letters."