Nostalgic Holiday Lovers Gifts

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"It's probably just seasonal."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

'Red rover, red rover, send Billy right over!'

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Sliding Down the Banister

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

'I just want to be sure to get this right. You met again your imaginary childhood friend and then happened WHAT?'

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

Cary Grant

Old Book Smell

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

Elephant rides.

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

Robert Mitchum

"What was the point of writing a blog that nobody else could read?"

We still sit in the old gum tree, and we still eat all the gumdrops we can see

Boss, when's the last time you took a vacation? 1984. March 3rd, to be exact. A Saturday. Instead of staying in to perfect my 25-year plan

"They grow up so quickly."

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

Harcourt's Defeat in 1895 Election

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'