Holiday Nostalgia Hunters Gifts

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"That's not you talking, Justin, that's the sugar talking."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

Sliding Down the Banister

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

Harcourt's Defeat in 1895 Election

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

'You take that back! My mom is too a virgin.'

"They grow up so quickly."

"You see? There are no vacuum cleaners under your bed."

"All my life is passing before me - including the deleted scenes..."

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

"I once experienced childlike wonder. . . but it was just my anti-depressants kicking in."

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

Who said romance is dead?

"When I first saw your mother, she was bathed in moonlight."

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

'Aaar! Walk the person planked on the plank!'

Trilby - 'Malbrouck s'en va-t'en guerre'.

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

"The inflatable pool is a harsh mistress."

The Old Elves Home