Holiday Nostalgics Gifts

'It's so cruel the way they break it to you, Not, 'school starts tomorrow', but 'tonight's a school night','

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

The other days of the year...

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

The Old Elves Home

"It's just not the same."

Where Mom used to take you.

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

Snow Angel Fall

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Teddy organ grinder

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

"New Year's Eve just isn't the same anymore!"

Snowglobe In Summer

'Aye lad, I remember when this was all snow.'

'Remember when Christmas came after hallowe'en?'

Talking christmas tree

Times Change in Camden Town

"I'm afraid he may not recover. Even this special tonic didn't help! Andale! Let's take a picture...so we can remember the joy he brought into this house!"

Sounds of the snowplow

'When I get married, I'm not going to be in the wedding.'

You're really the Ghost of Christmas Past? In the flesh, so to speak. Bit early this year. Thrilling! Pardon? Since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of being considered frugal enough to get a visit from you. Will you tour me through my cheapest moments?! Tough case, this one.

"It's 2020. What do you want?"

"It's nice you want to spend more time with the family, but the kids grew up and left home years ago."

"I choose to remember Aspen as it was."

"It's time off at Christmas I miss most."

"Oh, hello dear..remember the old days when he was satisfied with a mince pie and a glass of sherry?"

Santa sends it all by FedEx.

"Hello Paleface."

Swell who is sad because he has lost the little gridiron from his chatelaine

"Let's make your list for Santa! You'll be wanting a satsuma in your stocking for starters..."

Santa's Workshop Mailroom. The little pile is requests for toys. The big pile is requests for a return to normalcy.

Safe space - Do not enter

"Forty-six years later and I still hadn't made it out of the naughty corner."