Nostalgic For Traditional Holidays Pillows

"It's disgusting how they'll commercialize anything!"

Elfie Stick

Christmas sweater alternatives

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Room for bigger presents."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

'Sometimes Rudolph, I can't help but feel Christmas is getting too complicated!'

'Here's where things got ugly.'

"I want my job back."

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

Darning the Stockings

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

"Your daddy had all the trimmings, son, our nation's highest honor."

Angry Santa Letter

The Second Thanksgiving.

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

"It's from the environmental lobby. . . they want you to stop putting coal in the naughty kids stockings."

'Aye lad, I remember when this was all snow.'

"You've been at the North Pole for a long time. How come you haven't moved to Florida?"

"Oh, Santa! Not you too?"

Snow!

"I'm afraid he may not recover. Even this special tonic didn't help! Andale! Let's take a picture...so we can remember the joy he brought into this house!"

'Remember when Christmas came after hallowe'en?'