Nostalgic Capitalist Gifts

"What I wouldn't give to be young and deregulated right about now."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

World Economics

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

Big business is not evil

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

Big Shot - Bigger Shot

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

Felson, Donne, Peters & Free Market Forces

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"I can't say I love New York, but I can say New York loves me."

"I got rich through hard work." "Whose?"