Nostalgic Communist Gifts

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Best before 65 million BC.

Old rocker.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Colonial Larrysburg.

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Alexei Kosygin

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

ABBA

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"We need to complain to Earth's tech leaders about going wireless."

"Getting old stinks! Today I tripped over my nose hair!"

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

'In today's electronics world, printed books have become historical and museum pieces.'

'Look around Dad. This was once all yours...'

Sucking Up to Gen X

"You really miss the old grandfather, don't you dear."

"Do I use Google Maps driving or walking directions?"