Nostalgic Capitalist T-Shirts

"What I wouldn't give to be young and deregulated right about now."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

World Economics

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

Big business is not evil

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

Big Shot - Bigger Shot

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

Felson, Donne, Peters & Free Market Forces

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"I can't say I love New York, but I can say New York loves me."

"I got rich through hard work." "Whose?"