Noisy Page-turner Pillows

"It was so noisy in there - all those pages turning."

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

Reading

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

Bibliomaniac

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Poor kid, his parents gave him a book for Christmas."

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

'TV on the blink?'

Who needs the classics...boy reading his ebook.

Writer's block

"I sort of imagined with a live reading, he'd be reading out loud."

"For a second there I thought I heard a page turn, as if someone was actually reading a book. Must be repressed memories from the old days."

Books: Meet the Guy Who Sells the Books

Best Sellers/New Release/Books You Still Haven't Finished Yet Claire

'Couldn't finish it. I got reader's block.'

"Can we just wait until they make the film?"

"I don't care, I'm on the last page."

"Have you got a thrilling, magnificent saga that can also teach me how to make a bundle in real estate with no money down?"

Pulp fiction on bookshelf dripping into bucket.