Noise Control Comedians Gifts

Ding and Dong.

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

'Very funny!'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"Are you talking to me?"

"Is there room for me?"

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

Modern animal communication

'Peace is at hand! - I just signed the Bagpipe Limitation Treaty!'

'-and to all you night owls out there...'

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

School of mime has notice on board: 'No talking in class.'

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

"Mr. Hazlett is in conference right now. Would you care to see his evil twin?"

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

Text in a bottle

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

Mime Fights: 'I think you broke my jaw!"

"Stop the barking .50"

The neighbour of the beast

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

Marcel disagreed with the judge, but it was a mute point.

Noise Abatement Society

Mime Club. A group of mimes learn that the first rule of Mime Club is that "YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT MIME CLUB".