Noise Challenger Gifts

'Well, you do wonder don't you?'

"My email is down... talk to me."

Lawnmower

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

Noise Pollution

The Mainstream

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

You would have to work decades to make what many CEO's do in an hour.

"I'm looking for loopholes."

'Confusionism'

"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated..."

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

'This is a coffee break, Caldwell -- Get rid of that damn teapot!'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

A man without a chicken on his head!

When a nanosecond is forever.

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

Election Cancelling Headphones

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

"Amazing! He's been in there for over an hour without his cell phone,laptop or email access and he hasn't even twitched!"

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

Thinking of throwing the 'Think' sign into the garbage.

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

Spring cleaning.

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

"Here's your problem."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem... why doesn't everyone get one?"

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.