Noir Parody Admirer Gifts

"Try not to roll in any dead gangsters today."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

Ancient Racing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Dolphin friendly tuna

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

On the brink.

Cow's straw

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"Hugh fans!"

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

Can't Touch This

The Philip Marlow family

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"A haand gel...!?"

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."