Noel Navigator Gifts

Man on desert island hangs his Christmas stocking on a palm tree.

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"I am not asking for directions."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Titanic: How's my steering.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Battery Lighthouse

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

'How many fingers do you see?'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

If business gets any worse I'll have to start laying off relatives.

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

Seriously, Bob, your map reading skills leave a lot to be desired!'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"You are here"