Nocturnal Novelist Gifts

'Your night writing book, madam.'

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

Things that go beep in the night.

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

Bat

"Papi, I heard something!"

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

Man reading in lamp

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

'The princess won the lottery and lived even more happily ever after.'

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

The End is Night

Man's dentures hold cigar.

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

"No, you can't go to the rock concert! It's vital you don't damage your hearing!"

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

"No dear - there are no malcontents at odds with society under your bed."

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

Moon crooner

Counting Sheep

'Say babe, wanna go to my place for a daycap?'

"You're early - trash day's not till thursday."

"No!"

'There, you see?... There aren't any humans hiding under your bed.'