No-nonsense Navigator Gifts

'Let's cut out the mumbo jumbo and get to the nitty gritty.'

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Lost around a military base.

Department of Nanotechnology

Recalculating!

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

Nethead strip: Speak binary

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'

'I blame it on the GPS-System myself: Hardly anybody gets lost around here anymore...'

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

"Let's stop and ask directions at Alpha Centauri, I said, but oh no, Mister clever stalks knows the way alright!"

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

Number Phobia.

You Are Here

Exit/Missed it/Next Time Listen To Your Wife!

2Recalculating..."

"Oh shut up."