No-frills Enthusiast Gifts

'You have to bring your own food.'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"It's a simple model but it works for me!"

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

The spend is high

"Thanks for the leaf blower! I'm putting it to good use."

"We're temporarily located in an office park, so it would be best if we came to you."

Cool Z enters his minimalist period.

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

Less is more.

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"Let’s run through that scene again with just the table and the lamp."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

And do you, Sue, believe this is the best you can do? / It was a simple ceremony. Perhaps a little too simple.

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

Managing Targets: "It mat be simple but it works for me."

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

"What I like about booze is that it's so low tech."

Too much packaging

'You can see the artist has tried to capture man's aspirations, using a minimalist language.'

Tony Blair - EU budget.