Nitpicking Enthusiast T-Shirts

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

You are what you eat!

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

'A nutcracker? Admit it, Fred, you're getting old.'

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

"Nowadays, it's all about who you know, not what you know."

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

'It's what I always say... You are what you eat'.

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

Eat More Salted Nuts

Mixed Nuts

Every cashew is an individually harvested seed bathed in acid. What a nut. What a world.

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

'You know, I just got a sudden yen for nuts and berries.'

'So we finally dropped the big one.'

A squirrel examines a nut in safe deposit box.

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

'Let's get nuts.'

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

Apple Picking 2020

Poet and Peasant