Nightmare Negotiators Gifts

"All night I dreamed I was at work. Do I get overtime for that?"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"But it will never get better if you picket"

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

Boss, I've got a new idea. And it will totally empower on-demand collaboration and idea-sharing. Not again. It'll synergistically maintain error-free catalysts for change, while progressively meshing stand-alone methods of reconceptualization. Look, I've already told you. You're not getting a raise, not matter how much business jargon you use. But an extra $2 an hour would dramatically generate error-free opportunities for a tax deduction. No means no.

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

". . .Release the Grunwalds now! Do not make us resort to force!"

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

"Tough group."

'Come on, guys, you know what they say: The sour puss never gets the new contract'.'

'Damn it, he's lawyered up! By the time this works its way through the courts he'll be out of season!'

Unison plans strikes

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

Industrial Disputes: the Early Years

Some make better deals than others.

London underground talks continued

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."