Nightlife Critic Gifts

'That's the last time I go there - Bagpipes and Karaoke just don't mix!'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

I could have danced all night!

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

Bryan Ferry

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

The Snooze Bar.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Dancing at the Clubs.

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Another round of banana daiquiris for the lovely lady and I, please!"

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'Fried chickens.'

Dance.

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

Clubbing

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

The Stripper