Nicotine Seeker Gifts

'Get out of my way. I'm out of cigarettes!'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Canine Scentipede

Honest Vending

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Pheromones.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Student Food Pyramid

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"You complete me."

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"It's a map to the vending machines."