Nicotine Seeker Gifts

'Get out of my way. I'm out of cigarettes!'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

Canine Scentipede

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

Pheromones.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Student Food Pyramid

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

"It's a map to the vending machines."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

"You complete me."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine