Nicknames T-Shirts

"Call me Ross. I've always wanted somebody to call me Ross."

'They call me... Condor!'

"See why I hate my nickname 'Toad Stool'?"

'"Silent killer'?! That's your nickname? That's so cool Dad!"

"His reputation as a tough guy was dented when his Valentine called him ‘cuddle bottom’."

Every time I see him he's like, Hey 'saurus! I'm pretty sure he forgot my name.

"So come on then, why does everyone call you Lofty?"

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

'Struck by lightning, twice.'

'King? Is that a nickname, like Duke Ellington or Queen Latifah?'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

By any chance, woukd Dr. Smith's nickname be 'Curly'?

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

'Folks call me 'Nostrils'!'

"Why's your cat called Cheap Loo Paper?"

"We all call him the German 'cause he spends most of his time in the bunker."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

Babies vs. Dogs

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

What really became of the boy named Sue.

'My other baby is Mercedes'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.